For Niki!!!!

We've been through the storm,
We've been through it all
We had some close calls,
But never would fall
We climbed all the mountains,
Walked through all the valleys,
And you never left me behind

I found my way through the clouds,
No more running scared and closing my eyes
I will be true, this love from my heart,
I'm laying my life on the line


They said we wouldn't make it,
But guess what, we made it
And deep down, I'm wondering how
You were always for me,
Never been the one to hurt me
You gave me peace of mind

I found my way through the clouds,
No more running scared and closing my eyes
I will be true, this love from my heart,
I'm laying my life on the line

Sometimes I can't believe,
That you are with me
There's nobody lucky as me
So I get on my knees,
To make sure that He
Knows that I'm grateful,
For what He gave me

Oh I will survive,
As long as it's you by my side
I will survive,
As long as it's you by my side
I'm stronger, stronger, stronger
I'm stronger, stronger, stronger
I will survive

Thought for the Day!!

I always hate it when someone tells you; "Life is like a bowl of cherries" or "Life is like a box of chocolates." I want to brain the guy who introduced that last one into our national consciousness. So don't hate me when i tell you; "Life is really like a chess game." You have pieces of your life set at different priorities that you try to advance but there is always some asshole trying to stop you. The key to going down a winner is not to stop when they want you too, not to stay and play to long, and to make sure that when the endgame comes ... you are the one in control.

Second Pride

I have spent last week setting up my gallery at Second Pride. It has been really exciting. Then I have been visiting the shops of the other vendors, looking at the exhibits and of course partying with the rest of my proud family. It has brought back to mind a lot of memories and reasons for why I am who I am. I have spent many years fighting others (family mostly) about my lifestyle. Living in a world where i face possible discrimation and having to face the fact that I do not have equal rights as others. But yet I wake up every morning, put my pants on the same as everyone else and am proud of who and what I am. Is it easy? Often it is not. I have MSNBC as my default on my web browser and when i opened my laptop this morning I was faced with the news that the State of California Supreme Court upheld the constitutional amendment banning gay marriage. Another day in the life of a gay man :( I will continue to be proud and will not give up the fight...for somehow, someday, & somewhere we will all be equal!!

Welcome to Radekal Evolution

As some of you know, I have been working very diligently on my photography & art. I have been trying very hard to get the gallery up as well as get the portfolio large enough to fill it. Put together a little youtube video to show off the stuff. Hope that you like it. More to come soon so stay tuned....huggs Clint

Glancing Back One Last Time

Sorry I didn't post yesterday, but after the final party on Sunday, it was still just a little too emotional. Wow...A Fairy Tale Ending, I don't think a more proper name could have been placed on this event. I found myself surrounded on a dance floor by so many friends and loved ones all celebrating with me a year that has went by so quickly. A year ago Sunday, Niki & I took a brave step & walked into the unknown together. Opening Premier Entertainment together, never realizing what a journey it would become. Niki, I can't imagine anyone else in SL that I would rather be with on that out for control short bus that we have been on. It has been ONE Hell of a RIDE!!




All the "HOT MEN OF PREMIER" those still with us & those who have moved on to better things. All of you made Evo what it is today! I just drove the bus. But you guys are what kept them coming back for more!! Thank YOU so much!



Mirah!!! What can I say? Your beautiful inside & out! You kept the place rocking & most importantly kept me sane! Your personality is infectious and I love you with all my heart.



Dillon & Getme!! Two of the best bros a guy could ever hope to have. You both are family to me & I will never be able to repay you for allowing me to have a vision & a dream. SL would have never been the same without you two.



And then all the friends!! You made it so special! When the sim crashed I was so nervous and worried but each & every one of you came back. You will never know what that means to me. Not just on Sunday nite, but the many nites practically every event...there you were partying on my dance floor! I love ya'll!








So here I am...at the end of a very wonderful journey! As I have told a few, there are a few things that I would have changed but I leave with absolutely NO REGRETS! It has been a blast but like all roads there comes a turn & I feel it is one that I must make! Thanks again everyone for an absolutely fantabulous time!! One More for The Road!! Huggs...Clint!

Times of Change

I know it has been a while since I posted and I apologize but a lot has been happening in SL. First, I am in the process of setting up my art and getting a gallery up and ready to show it all. Hope to have it all ready and have a grand opening party soon. Be sure to check back for more information about that as well as joining the group once we get it all done.

Second, and probably most shocking is that I have decided to leave Premier Evolution. After recent RL & SL events...it just wasn't the same. Some have said that perhaps I have burnt out..which very well could be the case. I have been going full blast with Premier practically since I rezzed. And although it is my baby and always will be..I thought that it was time for me to move on and find the real Clint. I announced the move about a week ago and said that I would be doing a farewell tour, 4 final parties with the huge build and themes. I redid the famous New Years Day / Sands of Time party for the first event...which was really great. It was one of my favorites and of course had to do a little bit of change to it. When I was done, it looked like Salvador Dali had thrown up all over the club :P Then by popular demand, we had to redo Life Is a Drag. Turned out to be a homage to Barbie...but always fun!! This Wednesday Nite, I am recreating the halloween event "Meeting of the Witch's Council". Really hope that all of you can make it. And last..the one that I am really looking forward to is going to be an event that I have always wanted to do but never got around to and thought what a great way to end it all....."A Fairy Tale Ending" Invites will be sent on Thursday or Friday. Shoot me an IM if you don't receive one. I will do a post later in the week / early next as my farewell to it all...but I wanted everyone to have a heads up as to what is going on if you haven't already heard. Huggs Clint

Song for the Week

Being Lost can be a WONDERFUL Thing!!

Most of you know me as Clint, one of the club owners of Premier Evolution...the guy who puts on the shows and flirts no stop on a dance floor. Others know me as a person who takes great pride in his work and his vision and has a blast seeing it come to fruition. Others, and very few of you know me as a the person who is struggling to get out from behind the other two previously mentioned persona's and just be Clint.

Many people come to SL for many different reasons, but the one that I am most interested in ... is why they stay. SL isn't easy in those first couple of weeks, while you wander aimlessly trying to find what it is all about and what the possibilities are, how to get started, how to get money and mostly how to buy that fabulous pair of shoes you saw :P Most of you also don't know that I am a very creative person in RL, I have worked in the flower industry on and off for most of my adult life..although currently not working in that industry but still missing it desperately. And that was the reason that I stayed in SL....it feeds my creativity. It did not take long to get bitten by the builder bug and the possibilities are endless!! Add to that my love to entertain, throwing dinner parities to large events and boom....we had the making of Evo. There is nothing like loosing yourself in a build or being immersed in creativity. Some of my hardest RL & SL times...I have grabbed my hammer or more lately my camera and have set off to leave all those issues behind and create or build something beautiful. The day that I had to put my 15 y/o basset hound, Sebastian to sleep...I came home in tears, logged in world, picked up my hammer and for the next 8-10 hours built one of my best builds ever, Creation. It didn't amaze me when it was done that it resembled a temple...i built it in honor of my boy. But in those hours i don't remember connecting a single prim...it all just flowed out of me. In recent days, it has been my photography, coming up with a concept for art, adding all the elements to make a great picture, pulling it into photo shop and working on it until it is perfect or at least something that I am very proud of.

SL has always been an extension of my RL self from the first day I picked up my hammer and started building....however, I loose myself in the build, in the creativity of it all. I forget all the issues that surround me or are effecting me at the time and focus on what is beautiful.

So my advise to you is find what brings you happiness, what is an extension of what you are and what you want to be...and then Loose yourself in it....it really is a wonderful thing.

Here is a glimpse of what i have been "loosing" myself in lately. Hope you enjoy....Huggs Clint

Time Marchs On

Sorry for the long delay in posting. Have had a lot of RL issues to deal with in the last week that has kept me away from the blog and unfortunately even out of SL...i know **gasp** LOL. It has been a difficult week for ole Clint, trying to process all of the mistakes that were made, the trust that was broken and how to put it all behind me. I really want to thank all of the people for the kind messages and concerns....you are all such awesome friends and I love you dearly. I have been spending a lot of time working on my photography and loosing myself in how to make beautiful things instead of the ugly mess that continues to swirl around me. I am trying really hard to ignore the rumors and accusations that are being said....but if you know me..I really don't think that I need respond to them. In fact, I won't. Thanks again everyone and I will see you on the dance floor. Here's a hint...i will be the one damn near naked ....snicker. Hugggs

NOTHING ELSE NEEDS TO BE SAID

What Goes Round!

Last night I was hurt. I was angry. And a side of me came out that I have never seen! This morning when I woke up I was totally like WTF?? I honestly scared me. I re-read the blog from last nite and was in total shock and went to delete it. But then I was like...no that needs to be a reminder to me of where I can go so easily. It isnt me and that isnt how I do things...never have and never will....hopefully! So the post stays as is...and is being replaced with this...thanks to everyone for their messages of support. I love you all Huggs Clint

Hey Drac, is he everything you wanted in a man?
You know I gave you the world
You had me in the palm of your hand
So why your love went away
I just can't seem to understand
Thought it was me and you babe
Me and you until the end
But I guess I was wrong

Don't want to think about it
Don't want to talk about it
I'm just so sick about it
Can't believe it's ending this way
Just so confused about it
Feeling the blues about it
I just can't do without ya
Tell me is this fair?

Is this the way it's really going down?
Is this how we say goodbye?
Should've known better when you came around
That you were gonna make me cry
It's breaking my heart to watch you run around
'Cause I know that you're living a lie
That's okay baby 'cause in time you will find...

What goes around, goes around, goes around
Comes all the way back around

Now Drac, I remember everything that you claimed
You said that you were moving on now
And maybe I should do the same
Funny thing about that is
I was ready to give you my name
Thought it was me and you, babe
And now, it's all just a shame
And I guess I was wrong........

Played the Fool

Wow....what can happen in a matter of hours. From my previous blog this afternoon, you could tell that i was on cloud nine! Happiness I ever remember being...had everything that I thougt I needed. Unfortunately...I wasnt enough for a certain person...in fact come to find out several men are not enough to satisfy Mr. Demonia. And apparently he gets great pleasure in playing and toying with people's emotions. Oh to be played the fool!!! An for a year now, I have tried very hard not to play games and sink to a level of some of these scum crawlers that i have met in SL....(clint searches inventory for latex body suit and selects wear outfit). This time I dont think I can let this one pass me by and not do something about it. (Clint put gloggls on for eye protection) This is just absolutely unasked for and deserves a little bit of a response. (clint put on the thigh high black leather boots) ( clint puts the body straps & cuffs) Bottle of tequila in hand and a pack of smokes in the back pocket...GAME ON BITCH! You play with peoples emotions like others play with xcite parts. Time to learn what playing with a professional is really like!

I was going to insert one of those sappy played a fool kinda songs here...but know what...this one fits ohhhhhhh so much better! See you at the craps table Drac...your dice...better roll a good one!

Kissing You!!!!

It has, as always, been a very busy couple of weeks with events at Evo etc. But I have tried so hard to try and find time to spend with my wonderful man, Drac. In the past couple of weeks, we have spent a lot of time exploring some incredible sims in SL. (I hope to post more about those in a future post) Something I have never really spent much time doing in SL however doing these things with Drac makes it even that much more special. Having my mistress, Evolution, and how it consumes so much of my time...I never thought I would be able to find someone who would be willing to share my time & emotion with another. But Drac has coped incredibly. You can usually find him right next to me on the dancefloor, partying it up at Premier right along with me. And when we are not there...we are off somewhere having a wonderful time, doing all the things that i have wanted to do.

Last night we started setting up house together, which is very exciting!!! Hope to have some pics of the new place for you soon. Drac you have made me feel alive! I feel as if i have actually started living in SL and you have brought so much happiness to me & i know that there is so much more to come. I love you bb and can't imagine a day without you!! I feel so comfortable in your arms as if my body was made for them. My heart jumps at the thought of being near you and aches when it isn't. You make me feel complete. I don't know what else to say other than....thank you Drac!

Why are we here???

Hello fellow bloggers!! Hope that you all are doing well. I must say that after yesterday's post and all of the response that I received...I have to ask one very simple question. Why are we here? What reason do each of us have for logging in every day into SL and returning day after day and week after week? I hope you ask yourself that question!! I can tell you the answer to that question when I pose it to myself. Because I am having fun!!! I have said to many of you, "If you aren't having fun doing it...then you are doing it for the wrong reasons" And I am having a blast!! Yes it is alot of work dealing with all the events at Evo & yes it difficult sometimes working with almost 50 employees; dancers, escorts, dj's etc...not to mention the vendors and such. But what a hell of a ride!! The second & more important reason that I do it...is i hope that others in SL have fun as well. There is nothing that makes me happier than to get an IM near the end of an event thanking me for a great party..or saying what a great time they have had. That right there makes it all worth while!! Also...I have just as much fun when there are just a handful at the event as I do when we are on the verge of crashing it. Another mantra of mine...it just takes 2 to be a party. (winks at Drac), wait that might be a subject for another post. LOL So please take a moment and pose this question to yourself...and if you aren't here to have fun & make sure that others have fun as well...please let me draw your attention to the little red "x" in the upper right hand corner of your screen. Thanks guys & Let's PARTY!!!! Huggs Clint

Uninvited!

For those of you who know me...you know that I honestly try to stay clear of drama. Well at least I try. However, there is something happening in world that I have to address and speak my mind on. It is the current campaign being ran by certain people to besmirch the name and reputation of DJ Gregster Kidd.

I must admit that I am a frequent visitor of the "fashion" blogs, will not name them here but you know who they are...and their ongoing battle with each other. I look at them as the national enquirer of SL..and follow the same practice that I do in RL...none of it is true!! Although at times, they do provide a well deserved chuckle and a couple of minutes of entertainment. However, the veracity and tenacity of these mudslinging campaigns lately has even made me cringe at moments.

Let me give you just a brief background of myself, premier & our relationship with Gregster. In April, 08, Premier Escort/Entertainment opened it's doors to the public. One week later, it had its first big event, with the Madonna CD release party of Hard Candy. We had planned 2 parties, one for Euro time and then one later in the day for US timezones. The DJ, whose name unfortunately escapes me at the moment had agreed to do both sets and the euro party went fabulously. 30 minutes before the US party was to begin, I got a message stating that the DJ's IP address had crashed & he wasn't going to be able to make it. A frantic cry went out for a DJ to help pull off the US event. Mr. DJ Gregster stepped in, absolutely totally unprepared, spun 2 hours of incredible tunes, all while downloading the tracks from the new CD...and the guests on the floor never knew the chaos happening behind the scenes. That my good friends...is what it is all about and the mark of a true showman. From that moment on...myself, premier & gregster have had a working and personal relationship. I consider him a very good friend and confidant. As long as my dance floor is open & my shout cast board running, there is a place for Gregster at Premier Evolution. People have used adjectives such as "difficult" & "diva" to describe him in recent days & I want someone to step up and tell me that they have at no time been difficult, caused a problem, created some drama or been a diva. I know that i certainly can't and I don't think anyone else can either. My opinion of Gregster is based on what he has done for me and especially for my business. He has been a true professional & deserves all the praise that is due him.

As for the people who are out to hurt his reputation and personal life...the adjectives that you use are probably best used to describe yourselves...in recent weeks, I have seen nothing more than smear campaigns, & all around tackiness all disguised under the header of journalism. As I stated in my December interview with the magazine of that "fashion blog". I am here to have fun & to make sure that others have fun as well...if and when the fun stops, so do I. Please take a moment to consider, your fun?? and add the later part of my mantra...are you making sure that others are having an enjoyable time as well. If not?? why are you doing it?

I feel it is time that we all step up and say this type of "journalism" is UNINVITED!!

My First Rezz Day!

I can not tell you how many times that I have started this blog! (at least a half dozen times) But every time that I start to think about the events of the last year, my mind is flooded with soooo many memories & events. I have to consider myself very very lucky!! I have never really thought about why others come to second life, I have just assumed that they came here the same way I did, they heard about it from some source and decided to come and check it out. I didn't have the benefit of someone waiting for me in SL. Someone to guide me to the hottest shops to get that new shape & skin. Hell, even someone to tell me how to get that damn torch out of my hand. (pahahaha)

I was however, very fortunate to meet some of the most incredible people, who became friends and I would not be where I am had it not been for them. People like Niki & Corey, who practically from the first day i hit the grid have been there, working, helping & holding. There is not a doubt in my mind that had you not been in my life, I would not be celebrating today. I owe you both so much

Then there were people like Jaydin & Dillon, who had the faith in me that I could have a vision & work to bring it to fruition. Premier Evolution would not be where it is today had it not been for your trust in me. Once again I you both so much.

There are so many other friends & people associated with Evo that when I listed them here on the blog, blog spot contacted me and asked that i shorten the blog due to lack of server space. I owe you all so much.

Also, and probably most importantly, there are those that are no longer on the friends list for various reasons. I owe you the most gratitude of all. You are the ones who molded me the most. You helped define me as a person and through each challenge, you helped me to grow, learn & emerge stronger. Although probably not on the Top 10 List of most enjoyable of moments in my SL, your showed me that adversity although overwhelming can be overcome. I owe you most of all!

People who say that they wouldn't change a thing, I have always believed, either don't like change or just aren't thinking hard enough. Of course there are many things that I would have changed over the past year, but as someone once said the past is a deposit that has already been made and the future is only a promissory note.

I look forward to the coming year ahead & embrace it. Not knowing what it holds in store for me, but know that through it all...I will continue to evolve.

Thanks to everyone for an incredible year!! All my love...Clint

Clint's Big Bang!!!! Monday, February 2nd 6-8pm SLT

One....
Year since he rezzed in
To the World of Second Life...
One...
Year since he signed on
To deal with drama and strife...
One...
Year since he started
To improve the whole place....
One....
Reason to Party
Cuz he's still rezzin' still....
One....
Night just to throw down
Get funky and dance and chill!

Join us @ Premier as we celebrate CLINTON'S ONE YEAR REZZ DAY! Come join us, Ars and the Rezz Day boy as we have an all-out event 6-8 SLT Monday February 2nd at EVOLUTION!

Me & Drac Having Some Fun!!!

The Opposite of Love

In the past couple of weeks, I have started on an incredible journey with a man who still fascinates me with how absolutely emotional he is when it comes to SL. Please do not get me wrong...I do not mean that in a bad way at all. I just love how he feels and cares for everyone around him and how hard he strives and works to make sure that his SL friends and family are ok and taken care of. When they hurt - he hurts. When they are happy - he rejoices. And when they cry - he cries with them. There should definitely be more like you Drac....you make SL such a beautiful place. As we have started to learn each others past and where we have been, this wonderful man made such a profound comment..one that has haunted me for days. He said "The opposite of love is not hate, it is indifference." "If you allow hate, then they still have power." WOW! Many of you have seen me wear a necklace around my neck with three crucifixes on it. Each crucifix has represented someone who has hurt me very deeply in SL. I have worn it as a reminder to the pain that they have caused and i guess as a way to protect me from any more hurt. But with those words, I realized that with this constant reminder literally around my neck, I continued to carry the weight of the pain and in some circumstances the hate that I felt towards these 3 people. And I still gave them power over me. I was literally confused by exactly what to do, I know that grudges are best forgotten and I have striven to not have anything to do with these three people, however...indifference? So I did some research.

I found two very poignant quotes by Elie Weisel, holocaust survivor and noble prize winner;

For one who is indifferent, life itself is a prison. Any sense of community is external or, even worse, nonexistent. Thus, indifference means solitude. Those who are indifferent do not see others. They feel nothing for others and are unconcerned with what might happen to them. They are surrounded by a great emptiness. Filled by it, in fact. They are devoid of all hope as well as imagination. In other words, devoid of any future

The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference.
The opposite of art is not ugliness, it's indifference.
The opposite of faith is not heresy, it's indifference.
And the opposite of life is not death, it's indifference

These made me realize that hate / dislike is an emotion and must be felt. Indifference is the total lack of emotion and without it your life is truly a void. I know that Drac meant well when he said those words to me and he is someone who feels so much emotion,I could never ever imagine him to be indifferent. You can never experience the good without the bad. There could not be the concept of heaven without the concept of hell. I have since, however, removed the necklace from around my neck. I am not striving for indifference, but perhaps possibly towards forgiveness. Only the future can tell.

CLINTON RADEK HAS AN ALT!!!!!!

I know that many of you have wondered and rumors have flown around Second Life for months!! How can he do everything that he does..put up with everything that he puts up with & deal with so many issues. Why the hell can't Clinton Radek be destroyed?? Is he truly Superman? and if so...who is Clark Kent? Well fellow bloggers....Now the TRUTH comes out!!! Clinton has an ALT!! and that person is??? (insert drum roll here) The RL Clint (RLC).

RLC logs into real world for approximately 9 hours a day. Goes to a RL job to earn money for Clinton so that Clinton can live a lifestyle that he would like to become accustom to. But it doesn't stop there..OH NO fellow readers..it isn't that easy!! SL Clint makes sure that RLC remains constantly connected and within reach usually via yahoo messenger and SLeek. The clint mobile always ready to rush RLC back to the laptop so that evil doers are brought to justice & noobs are saved from fashion faux pas. A box is not an accessory to ANY outfit!

Nine hours a day is all the alt sees..once that time is up. Clint logs in!!

So now you know the truth!

New Start to a New Year

Sorry fellow bloggers & friends for taking so long to post but what a whirlwind of the past couple weeks for ole Clint. As I stated in previous blogs, I did a lot of reflection at the end of 08'...made some radical decisions & changes, crossed my fingers & stepped out from behind the facade that I had built. And wouldn't you guess it...no sooner did I step out ...I was ran OVER! I met the most interesting guy and we have spent the last two weeks talking, exploring, spending time together & really getting to know one another. And...oh yeah FALLING IN LOVE! I had prepared a very long list of requirements for the next Mr. (insert name here)- Radek and Drac you stepped in and practically checked off everything on that list of requirements in a matter of hours. It was like you were made for me! It has been told to me by many people who are close...that it is sooooooo good to see Clint smile again & I can't remember being this happy. I know we have a long hard road ahead of us...but together we can beat the odds on this one baby...You stole my heart & I'm not filing a grievance report to Linden...you can have it. I love you bb!!

It's a Wonderful Life!!

***This post was written & meant to be posted on January 1st***

Thanks to a very dear friend of mine, I spent most of the holiday season in retrospect of the events & experiences that have occurred in recent months...heck my entire time in 2008. And just like in the movie, this dear friend (my guardian angel) stepped in just as i was ready to click the BIG RED X...I was ready to end it all. By showing me, the people I had effected, the friends that i had neglected & things I had created...I had a lot to be proud of. I suddenly saw the mis-steps that I had made, decided which ones needed to be corrected & which ones were better being left alone. I started reaching out to the old friends who I had lost contact with...catching up on all the time lost and once again truly enjoying this incredible world of pixel and prim. I FOUND PEACE!